


put on a smile, it's showtime

by thebitterbeast



Category: Glee
Genre: (she was told to be /sterilized/), Gen, I am a Rachel Berry stan, I had a lot of Rachel feels, and can admit that a lot of her behaviour can be very problematic, and comes away unscathed, back when I used to watch this show, can be extremely damaging in real life, even though I do not watch the show, nobody gets bullied that much, she has a therapist on call, the amount of bullying she went through was never fully dealt with, the behaviour towards her was largely disgusting, things that are laughed off on the show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-20
Updated: 2014-03-20
Packaged: 2018-01-16 09:10:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1341427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebitterbeast/pseuds/thebitterbeast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rachel Berry's showface is flawless. Oneshot set in season one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	put on a smile, it's showtime

You wonder what is wrong with you sometimes, why no one can love you. You’re doing the best you can with the hand life has dealt you, and you thought you were doing quite well.  
  
Than this happened.  
  
 _[No, that’s not true. You’re lying to your self but it’s easier this way.]  
  
_ Your mother doesn’t want you, she’s replaced you with the daughter of one of your biggest tormentors. Your boyfriend ( **ex,** you remind yourself) was sent by her to find you – and he egged you.  
  
 _[You still want them to love you.]  
  
_ Your friends only put up with you. They’re not even really your friends no matter how hard you try. You tell yourself that it’s okay, you don’t need them _[but you want them. You want them to want to know you].  
  
_ **You’re going to be a star,** your fathers tell you whenever you want to slow down. **Work harder, all we’ve done for you should not be for naught.  
  
** Sometimes you wonder if they see you, their daughter, or simply you, the talent they produced.  
  
 _[You know it’s the latter and it stings. Though less now than before. You wonder if it means that you’ve become numb to being invisible.]  
  
_ Your dreams are all that keep you going. You’ll be on Broadway, you’ll be a star. People will adore you. It almost makes the life you lead worth it.  
  
 _[Almost, but it doesn’t. Sometimes the thought of the bright future, your bright future is not enough. The taunts and names, the slushies and pornographic pictures in the restrooms make you want to break down.]  
  
_ But you’re stronger than that.  
  
 _[No you’re not. You’re just a great actress, you even fool yourself.]  
  
_ The mask that you’ve been wearing for most of your life _[sometimes you forget it’s not really you and that it hides the many cracks underneath]_ slips back on as you step into the school. Your head is high, you slap a bright smile on your face.  
  
The cold sting that hits your face is sudden and you falter, blinking back the sudden onslaught of tears with an ease that would have horrified anyone else.  
  
 _[You’ve had years of practice and it’s almost second nature now to stem the tears.]  
  
_ You flick of the bit of coloured ice that has landed on the handle of your bag and you ignore the hoots of laughter of the students around you as you walk to the nearest restroom.  
  
 _[You cannot help the twinge of pain that flares up when you see your acquaintances simply look away when you pass them when you’ve been there so many times to clean them off. Another piece of you crumbles under your mask.]  
  
_ By the time you’re cleaned up, you have yourself under control. **You’re a star,** you remind yourself. **You’re better than them.**  
  
 _[You don’t let them see, you never let anyone see how broken you are. You only have you.]  
  
_ The show must go on.  
  
 _[At least for another day.]_


End file.
